I’m incapable of caring or loving

Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. 

And sometimes it feels really close. 

But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. 

And it’s not just a fear of commitment or that 

I’m incapable of caring or loving because…

I can. It’s just that, if I’m totally honest with myself 

I think I’d rather die knowing that I was really good at something. 

That I had excelled in some way than that 

I’d just been in a nice, caring relationship.

to be loved a little more?

I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?
Isn't everything we do in life a way 

to be loved a little more?

I'll just be glad when something nice happens.

I don't know, you know I always think that if I could just accept the fact

 that my life is supposed to be difficult. 

You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get 

so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad 

when something nice happens.

For two people who don't know how to be alone...

I kind of see this all love as this escape 

for two people who don't know how to be alone. 

People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, 

giving thing, but if you think about it, there's nothing more selfish.

"Hey, I'm glad you're gone".

You know what's the worst thing about 

somebody breaking up with you? 

It's when you remember how little you thought about

 the people you broke up with and you realize that 

is how little they're thinking of you. 

You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain 

but they're just like "Hey, I'm glad you're gone".

Sweet-cakes and milkshakes

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash.

Oh baby with your pretty face drop a tear in my wineglass 

Look at those big eyes, see what you mean to me 

Sweet-cakes and milkshakes 

I'm a delusion angel  I'm a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think. Don't want you to guess anymore?

You have no idea where I came from we have no idea where we're going 

Lodged in life, like branches in a river flowing downstream 

Caught in the current I carry you you'll carry me

That's how it could be, don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?

His eyes on me...

 I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away.

It's all methamphetamine.

Spoof. Dope. Crank. Creep. Bomb. Spank. 

Shit. Bang. Zip. Tweak. Chard. 

Call it what you will. 

It's all methamphetamine. 

That's what I'm here for.

Today, we do more than just celebrate the pussy.

You know I take the pussy seriously. Let me tell you.

You gotta take the pussy seriously. 

I mean, there's a priority for a tight ass.

But if it's hairy, I go for the tits. 

But if the tits are hairy, hey, it's right back to the pussy.

But you've gotta speak to that pussy, son.

You know, really talk to it. You make a vow to it.

Now, no nation has ever been so ready to seize 

the power and the freedom of the pussy as our own...

and we must all care for that pussy.

Today, we do more than just celebrate the pussy.

We re-dedicate ourselves to the very idea of pussy.

I mean, friends,
ask not what the pussy can do for you...

but what can you do for the pussy.

Maybe true love is a decision...

Jacks: 

So stop living your life like 

you're in some kind of a movie.

Peter:  Excuse me?

Jacks: 

Stop trying to cast your true love 

instead of just meeting him.

Peter: 

When I meet him, I'll know.

Jacks: 

I'm not so sure. 

Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? 

Maybe sometimes it's just a choice.

Peter: 

Well, that's easy for you to say! 

You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!

Jacks: 

That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life, 

but I've decided to give him the chance to be.

 Maybe true love is a decision. 

You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody, 

to give to somebody without worrying 

whether they'll give anything back, 

or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. 

Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. 

Maybe it's something you have to choose.

Peter:

 So what do I do?

Jacks: 

Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies 

of true love where they belong, into your work of fiction.

I can not have tea...

Ramona:

Dude, I'm changing.

Scott:

Sorry. I'm just cold.

Ramona:

Here, does that help?

Scott:

Yeah, that's very warm. What is that? Okay.

Were you just gonna bring the blanket from your bed?

Ramona:

I guess.

Scott:

Maybe we should both get under it, since we're so cold.

Ramona:

What about our tea?

Scott:

I can not have tea...

I like you even though you're not a normal guy ♥

Ross:  I had a really good talk, you know? Nikki:

I had such an amazing time. Thank you.

Ross, if you ever make it out to Vegas you have to call me.

Do you pinkie promise?

Ross:

I pinkie... I pinkie promise.

Nikki:

Thank you. 

Because I don't know if I'm ever gonna come back here.

Ross: Really?

Nikki: Yeah.

Ross:

You know he wasn't mad at you, right? 

He wasn't. That's not real.

Nikki:

I like you even though you're not a normal guy.

Ross:

I like you even though you're not a normal girl.

Nikki:

So let's just say goodbye.

Ross:

I just wanna say that I enjoyed 

all this time that I spent with you.

Nikki: Really?

Ross: Yeah.

Nikki: Okay. Come here.

Ross: Be safe.

Nikki: Well...Good luck with Amy.

Ross: Well, good luck in Las Vegas.

Nikki: Just be yourself, okay?

Ross: Thank you.

We owed Rosie our whole lives.

The Benzini Bros was officially belly up property of Altuna, Pennsylvania.

The shows on the road would get the sense soon enough and come to pick up our bones.

I wouldn't leave Rosie to that.

I wasn't gonna let any body touch her with that hook again.

So like I planned, I took my finals and with my degree, 

our animals and Marlena's act

Ringling got themselves a sweet deal. Sweet deal.

My first son was born that season. Walter.

He spent the first seven years of his life with Ringling.

That's why I cannot understand how he could forget to show up today.

There was a circus in town.

By the time our third son came we had enough.

Rosie retired. Luckily the vet of the Albany Zoo dropped dead 

so I got the job.

We bought some property so we can keep the horses,

Rosie, and five kids. Before you know it the kids are in the car and moving out.

So then it was just Rosie and us. When Rosie passed on Marlena cried for days.

We owed Rosie our whole lives.

Guy:

And Marlena?

My Marlena died in her bed. Still beautiful though.

We had a lot of years, though.

I don't know how I did it but I managed 

to give her everything I promised.

And boy, that was the life. I'm telling you.

I just woke up, and you were in my dream

Ramona:

Uh, Scott Pilgrim?

Scott:

Hi, I was thinking about asking you out, 

but then I realized how stupid that would be.

So, do you want to go out sometime?

Ramona:

No, that's okay. You can just sign for this, all right?

Scott:

I just woke up, and you were in my dream.

I dreamt that you were delivering me this package. Is that weird?

Ramona:

It's not weird at all.

Scott:

It's not?

Ramona:

No, it's just that you have this really convenient 

subspace highway running through your head that I like to use. 

It's, like, three miles in 15 seconds.

Scott:

Right, right.

Ramona: I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.

Scott:

You don't remember me, do you? 

We met at the party the other day.

Ramona:

Were you the Pac-Man guy?

Scott: No. Not even. That was some total ass.

I was the other guy.

Ramona:

You know, you need to sign for this, whatever this is.

Scott:

But if I sign for it, you'll leave.

Ramona:

Yeah, it's how it works.

Scott:

Okay, well, maybe, do you wanna hang out sometime? 

Get to know each other?

You're the new kid on the block, right?

I've lived here forever, 

so there are reasons for you to hang out with me.

Ramona:

You want me to hang out with you?

Scott:

Yeah, if that's cool.

Ramona:

If I say yes, will you sign for your damn package?

Scott:

So, yeah, 8:00?

I'll leave you alone forever now...

Scott: Hey, you know Pac-Man?

Ramona: I know of him.

Scott:

Well, Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man.

They changed it because...

Not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck.

Paku-paku" means "flap your mouth," 

and that they were afraid people would change...

Scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F," like...

Ramona:

Yeah, that's amazing.

Scott:

Um...Am I dreaming?

I'll leave you alone forever now.

Ramona:

Thanks.