The beginning deserves something special

Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning, the reason is simple, I couldn't understand the beginning until I had reached the end. 

There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing, 
too much you would never tell. 
I could sell these things. People want to buy them, 
but I'd set all this on fire first. 
 She'd like that, that's what she would do. 

She'd make it just to burn it. I couldn't afford this one, 
but the beginning deserves something special. 

But how do I show that nothing, not a taste, not a smell, 
not even the color of the sky, 
has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her. 

I don't know how to express the being 
with someone so dangerous is the last time I felt safe...