l'm so excited you've wroted back.
I don't think my parents like you so from now on
send stuff to my neighbour Len Hislop
at 26 Lamington Drive, Mt Waverley.
He's old with no legs.
They got chew'd'ed off in World War II
when some Japanese peoples kept him in a cage above piranhas.
Piranhas are goldfish that have teeth.
He's scared of outside, which is a disease called homophobia.
He's started giving me 50 cents a week to get his mail.
Do you get 'The Noblets' in America?
Well, my favourite Noblet is Vanity Noblet.
He wants to be everyone's friend, even the boys'!
In your letter, you said you had no friends...
Well, neither do I.
and called me "poo face" 'cos of my birthmark.
I wish I could peel it off like a bandaid.
He also laughed 'cos I had no buttons.
Ethel pecked them off
and Mum couldn't thread a needle 'cos she'd been testing the sherry
so she used pegs instead.
When I got home, I climbed into my secret place till dinner time.
The other kids also laugh at my haircut.
Dad has to cut my hair because mum says
real hairdressers sell your hair to Chinamen
My teacher, Mrs Pendergast, says I should smile more.
I told my mum and so she drawed a big smile on me.
I don't think Mrs Pendergast likes me anymore.
I better go now. My tears are smudgling my words.
PS. Have you ever been teased? Can you help me?
PSS. I'am never been hang gliding before or been a 'commune-ist'
but would love a frisbee and your recipe for chocolate hotdogs.
and a cake called a lamington, which I was meant to eat for lunch.